How the Grackle Got His Name
He's not so named for his drywall skills nor
his love of using spackle
(Whilst, of course, there is no job that he is loathe to
tackle!)
Nor was he christened so because his flaming soul doth
crackle
Or for the fact that lock or chain could never serve to
shackle
One as he who has the stealth and slyness of a jackal
Yeah, hale and hearty this one treads 'midst gabbling clucks
and quackle
Of dabbling ducks and quail upon whose heads is seen a
hackle
Attending neither church nor mosque nor any tabernacle
He never flirts with Tarot cards or items zodiacal
No vicious blow, no savage punch, no overwhelming whack'll
Cause his sturdy wings to ache (Though at times, of course,
his back'll!)
Not heretofore what you have heard wherefore was named the
grackle
His handle was awarded for his tendency to cackle.
THE END
There is no frigate like a boat
Nor any cursors on the page
Of a prancing pony
They hear, they jeer
But never fear, Dear
As near beer will steer me clear
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world.
Apologies to Ms. Dickinson but not to Mr. Arnold as I have stolen his work word for word.
"The Long Gone Beer"
by Tom Cole
I drank a beer
I sang a song
And now the doggone beer is gone!
This thou perceivest, which makes thy
love more strong;
To love that well which thou must leave
ere long
I found an excerpt from my parody of Dune that upon re-reading was still a worthy effort though perhaps a little to over-the-top to be included in the book.
In it, all language is just like Herbert's. I shall post the original below my spoof for comparative study.
Who has not heard and been moved ( and deeply so) by "The Tin Ear Hymn?"
I drove my geese through a desert
Whose goslings whinnied like drunken horses
Voracious for voracity and greedy for greed.
I traipsed the inanity of Fosterian verse
I saw erosion level both hillocks, dells,
and my intellect
In its quest, its ravenousness to brunch on
my entrails
And I saw the canaries furiously flapping
hither
Big, bold canaries like charging
hippopotamuses
That spread unctuousness
Upon the briar patch of my budding literacy
I felt the hippos lightly roosting
On my young green shoots
And their tiny, scratchy feet tickling my
thighs!
IF ONE THINKS I'M
UNFAIR, HERE'S THE ORIGINAL FROM THE BOOK:
Who has not heard
and been deeply moved*
by “The Old Man's Hymn”?
*MOVED TO WHAT? HURL?
—TC
The
Old Man's Hymn
by
Frank Herbert
I
drove my feet through a desert
Whose mirage fluttered like a host.
Voracious for glory, greedy for danger,
I roamed the horizons of al-Kulab, Watching
time level mountains
In its search and its hunger for me.
And I saw the sparrows swiftly approach,
Bolder then the onrushing wolf.
They spread in the tree of my youth.
I heard the flock in my branches.
And was caught on their beaks and claws!
—from “Arrakis Awakening” by the Princess
Irulan