YOU'LL READ IN PARECE QUE FUERA AYER/IT SEEMS LIKE
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1. ...about how cedar waxwings become
harbingers of death whenever they get drunk on
fermented berries and fall from the trees.
2. ...about how the discoverer of the fossil Lucy may
have snubbed me.
3. ...about a guy from California who knew exactly how
people in Norway felt in WWII.
4. ...about how I found of picture of myself and then
a movie of it being taken.
5. ...about how a woman earned my everlasting hatred
by making fun of my knapsack.
6. ...about how I went to a place that no longer
7. ...about how I saved the lives of hundreds of
8. ...about how my postcard pinned to a wall was lost
in a house fire and how I corresponded with a woman
who told me she had its original artwork of it on her
9. ...about how for fifteen years I wrote a note each
time a certain bird tweeted a certain way and found
they do it only from January to June.
10. ...about the saying"Tis a lesson you should heed,
try try try again. If at first you don't succeed, try,
try, try again."
11. ...about a girl who had a stroke and treated its
effects with beer.
12. ...about how my dad drowned my pet rat.
13. ...about ghostly pigeons.
14. ...about how Eddie Basha was a surprisingly true
progressive and a surprisingly bad art critic.
15. ...about how a friend of mine believes an angel
entered her spine and that she can communicate with it
with others for health benefits for all concerned.
16. ...about how a Jesus Freak gave me a double dose
of knock-out gas to give me amnesia.
17. ...about how I broke the head of my humerus clean
18. ...about how I corresponded with a famous actress.
19. ...about mountain lions walked around our house.
20. ...about how a doctor set my father's arm after
saying, "I say, is that a crow?"
21. ...about how I mistakenly thought the artist Paul
Klee used to draw the contours of cinder cones.
22. ...about Indians who turned to stone can still
easily be seen on top of a mountain.
23. ...about how a Malaysian publishing house
published my dad's book and didn't pay him.
24. ...about how my brother made a time machine and
saw a pterodactyl.
25. ...about how I went into someone's house and
looked all around.
26. ...about how I found a video in which I imagined I
saw a cockroach in the hospital recovery room.
27. ...about how a yeti disemboweled and ate a man in
28. ...about how a bear got a beaver to cut down a
tree for him so he could kill the man who had climbed
29. ...about how my mom stood guard with a 30-30 at
the age of sixteen so her dad could poach a deer.
30. ...about how the ghosts of dead children walked
out of a wall.
31. ...about a haunted hockey stick.
32. ...about how a ghost stole a book from my dad's
33. ...about people who can't play guitar but who
build guitars for fun.
34. ...read about how a dog played dead whenever he
heard the name Mussolini.
35. ...read about the orange that I rescued from 70
years of imprisonment in a seabag.
36. ...read about a planet covered with garbage.
37. ...read about tiny horses that never existed.