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BREAD (And a little Toast)  Steve with buttered toast.jpg Search
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I recorded this in my apartment in Texas in perhaps 1979. It isn't a very good performance. I just used a taperecorder or two. |
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BREAD (And a little Toast) Steve with buttered toast.jpg Search
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I recorded this in my apartment in Texas in perhaps 1979. It isn't a very good performance. I just used a taperecorder or two. |
 crusty bread stale bread.jpg  Bread with Holes.jpg  Italian Bread Cut Open.jpg  Bread Marcy Marxer.jpg |
HOW TO MAKE BREAD
By Tom Cole September 24, 2010 Three cups of flour 1 1/2 cups of water A teaspoon of salt (I LIKE PLENTY OF SALT MYSELF) Two teaspoons of sugar (I LIKE PLENTY TO FEED THE YEAST.) 3/4 teaspoon of yeast (BUY AT WALMART. THEIR CHILD LABOR IN INDIA MAKES FOR A MUCH LOWER PRICE!) Mix the stuff dry in a big ole bowl before adding water. Then mix with a spoon. Don't touch this sticky stuff or you'll be sorry. Glump it all in the middle of the bowl like a ball with the spoon. You need not knead. You don't need to knead. Cover it with a plastic shopping bag and let it sit until it doubles in size. This make take some hours or a couple of hours or whatever. Overnight if you like. Now, mix it up some more with the spoon and glump it in the middle of a pot that you've SPRAYED WITH PAM or fake pam. It should look like a big ball or a large, glistening glump. Put a top on the pot and stick it in the oven at a BLISTERING 450 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT. Look at it in 25 minutes. Is it brown and crunchy and yummy looking? If not, take the lid off and leave it in there for another five or ten minutes. Getting nice and brown? Smack it with a fork. Is it crunchy as all get out? If so, fine and dandy. Take it out using pot holders. Take the bread out of the pot. It should fall right out. Don't leave it in the pot to cool or the bottom will get soggy. Put it on some kind of rack to cool. Put the pot holders on the pot or you will surely try to pick it up without them and burn the heck out of yourself. Can't miss. Slice some of the bread off and put butter on it. Is it yummy? Chew. Swallow. Eructate. Now, cover only the soft cut-open, exposed part with plastic in order to keep the outside crunchy and crispy and crocante and crujiente! Some people just chuck the loaf into the fridge and then back in a hot oven the next day and it will taste like fresh, but you've got to heat up the darned oven and make sure you have unfrozen the whole loaf.  Italian Bread.jpg
TOAST POSTS  Charles Darwin on Toast.jpg  Frankie on Toast.jpg  TOAST BIRCHERS.jp Una vez, temprano en la mañana, pesqué algunas mojarras y regresé a la casa para desayunar. Como mis manos estaban cubiertas de baba de pescado, no quería tocar mi pan tostado. Por eso, usé mi tenedor para despegar la superficie de los dos lados untados de mantequilla. —¿Tienes miedo de tocar tu tostada?—preguntó sonriendo el muchacho más viejo que vivía allí. No puedo decir por qué no me lavé las manos antes de desayunar, pero años más tarde de vez en cuando comía mi pan tostado de esa manera, no necesariamente porque mis manos estuvieran sucias sino porque la proporción de mantequilla con respecto a la de pan había cambiado a favor de la mantequilla y eso producía una experiencia culinaria más rica y sabrosa. Once, early in the morning, I caught some sunfish and returned to the house for breakfast. Since my hands were covered with fishy slime, I didn't want to pick up my toast. Instead, I used a fork to peel the surface off of both buttered sides. "Are you afraid to touch your toast?" asked the smiling older boy who lived there. I can't say why I didn't go and wash my hands before breakfast, but years afterwards I would sometimes eat my toast that way, not necessarily because my hands were dirty but because the butter-to-bread ratio would change in favor of the butter and it made for a richer, tastier culinary experience. |